Writer: Ioanna Balafa
The following question is not something
special but is not an everyday fact either. How many of us
follow the way of
touch by touching people and
integrating the touch
in our daily lives? Meaning not only
the erotic touch but all of its forms.
The friendly one, the fraternal, the
touch of a mother ... Well, you’d be right
to tell me that most of the time we cannot
communicate not even verbally, let
alone we start touching each other. But perhaps is a worthing try to start follow
an out -verbal way of communication. That means a friendly tap to the back and a loving hand touch
(or even a smile)?
And this, not because we are good people ...
but because the need of touching is
deep inside but is also quite repressed. Comes from the primal need of giving
and accepting the caress.
Firstly, what we call sense or feeling, is triggered by sensory nerves coming from the brain and
spinal cord and terminating
in the whole area of our skin. The information
of the touch passes from the
brain and then runs throughout our body (feelings of pressure, heat
and pain). Sensory
stimulation produces a feeling, which is
visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile and
tasty. Through touch,
our skin turns out as the most important sensory
organ we have. Through and by
the senses we acquire knowledge of the environment in which we live and we accordingly modify our behavior to
adaptation.
At that point, is involved (beyond the organic) the mental aspect of the above physical condition.. Mean by that, how we feel when we touch and when we are been touched and how body language helps us to adapt ourselves to the circumstances we face. The caress is important for a human being since infancy. Surveys in the 70s, started studying some small animals, resulting that those not having had attention and caress by their mothers had mating difficulties later. The same conclusion applies to people as well as external stimuli affect the nervous system and thus behavior. Anthropologist Desmond Morris says that the physical intimacy we experience as children is able to even determine the number of sexual contacts that we have.
To touch, contributes to a better human development and subsequently to a smoother adolescent and adult behavior. In addition, during the physical contact, body endorphins get free, helping to fight stress and to increase the optimism feeling and the sexual desire. On the contrary, lack of such physical expression often leads to mood disturbances, lack of sexual desire, and even to the immune’s system weakening.
The therapeutic aspects are equally important. It is quite common in psychotherapeutic groups to use exercises that involve holding each other hands among team members or their embracement through various games. It is a way to express intimacy, love, forgiveness, to improve communication skills and leads to emotional ties. The touch is equally important for people dealing with physical disabilities, as they “get free” for a while of their body problem and they can be lead to psycho-emotional liberation.
Everyone is different, that’s sure but the feeling of security provided by bodily expression of what we feel includes everybody. Regardless of age, gender, mental and physical health, economic and social situation, we need that kind of expression. Of course, let's not forget the existing stereotypes, that the tenderness for instance, is mainly associated with sex or that a hug between men is also misunderstood or that many people did not receive the needed affection as children, so it is likely to become distant adults (always keeping in mind the cultural backgrounds of each person).
At that point, is involved (beyond the organic) the mental aspect of the above physical condition.. Mean by that, how we feel when we touch and when we are been touched and how body language helps us to adapt ourselves to the circumstances we face. The caress is important for a human being since infancy. Surveys in the 70s, started studying some small animals, resulting that those not having had attention and caress by their mothers had mating difficulties later. The same conclusion applies to people as well as external stimuli affect the nervous system and thus behavior. Anthropologist Desmond Morris says that the physical intimacy we experience as children is able to even determine the number of sexual contacts that we have.
To touch, contributes to a better human development and subsequently to a smoother adolescent and adult behavior. In addition, during the physical contact, body endorphins get free, helping to fight stress and to increase the optimism feeling and the sexual desire. On the contrary, lack of such physical expression often leads to mood disturbances, lack of sexual desire, and even to the immune’s system weakening.
The therapeutic aspects are equally important. It is quite common in psychotherapeutic groups to use exercises that involve holding each other hands among team members or their embracement through various games. It is a way to express intimacy, love, forgiveness, to improve communication skills and leads to emotional ties. The touch is equally important for people dealing with physical disabilities, as they “get free” for a while of their body problem and they can be lead to psycho-emotional liberation.
Everyone is different, that’s sure but the feeling of security provided by bodily expression of what we feel includes everybody. Regardless of age, gender, mental and physical health, economic and social situation, we need that kind of expression. Of course, let's not forget the existing stereotypes, that the tenderness for instance, is mainly associated with sex or that a hug between men is also misunderstood or that many people did not receive the needed affection as children, so it is likely to become distant adults (always keeping in mind the cultural backgrounds of each person).
The reasons are more or less
known. Much of anxiety for our work following an exhaustive life rhythm in order to
be consistent to our obligations, forgetting that life runs faster than us, the isolation
the above bring and our unintentional
denial to get joy
by simple things. (Each aspect of course, is part of our life, but we need to put it on its
appropriate dimensions and not exaggerate about everything). There’s that point where we have to distance
ourselves for a while and take
care of what’s around us and of those people who appreciate us and love us and appreciate
and love them too because there
is a mutual need for frequent communication and for more out-verbal contact.
A hug or a touch,
can contribute significantly to the
safety and the communication we
can offer each other, or can even act as an effective
assistance in our life situations responses. Consider how many hours a day
we hold in our hands the remote control or the
pc keyboard and how many the
hand of the
person sitting next to us. Let's just consider how nice
we feel when we
hug someone we love and how much energy that
gives us.
Worldwide, great research projects occur, about the value of touch, by the scientific fields of sociology, psychology, anthropology and pedagogy. The conclusion after reading some of the results, is that the feeling does not get postponed ... There is within us to express it and for what we want to express only today exists ... or even better, the now moment exists. Moreover, human society means communication, preferably expressed in the most spontaneous, liberated and sincere way.
Worldwide, great research projects occur, about the value of touch, by the scientific fields of sociology, psychology, anthropology and pedagogy. The conclusion after reading some of the results, is that the feeling does not get postponed ... There is within us to express it and for what we want to express only today exists ... or even better, the now moment exists. Moreover, human society means communication, preferably expressed in the most spontaneous, liberated and sincere way.
(published on positive.gr)
